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Not all, but a lot of young and newly engaged or newly married couples have that age-old discussion. Do we have children? When? How many?

No matter how many income streams you have in your household, as we know and understand in Scripture: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” (Psalm 127:3, ESV)

Even with the struggles and challenges of being a provider and parent, we can both affirm that children are a blessing from the Lord!  Remember, it is God who opens and closes the womb: “When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren” (Genesis 29:31, ESV). Rachel was barren because of God, and Leah became pregnant because of God!  Our God is a sovereign God over all things.  

Today we would like to broach a potentially challenging question.  One that we are seeing asked more and more today than in the past.  And that question is this:

Should I put off having children until I am financially secure?

 

What is Financial Security?

Financial security often refers to the state of having enough resources, assets, and income to meet one’s current and future financial needs and goals, without the constant fear of financial instability or hardship. It involves having a stable financial foundation that provides peace of mind and confidence in one’s ability to weather unexpected expenses, emergencies, and changes in income or circumstances.

To put it in very simple terms, one could say this: I don’t have to worry about where the money is going to come from, both now and in the future.

When one is making enough money to not have to worry about it, these things, for the believer, should be happening:

  • Giving is happening.
  • Expenses are met.
  • Savings goals are being met.
  • I have fun money left over!

So we know what a decent definition is of financial security, but what are some of the things that we need to think about and process pertaining to it along with its intersection with considering bringing children into the world.

 

Should I Put off Having Children Until I’m Financially Secure?

Things to think about…

 

Is anything secure? (or, we’ll never really be financially secure)

Looking at history: we believe that it is fair to say that you will never have enough confidence in the future that everything will work out. God knows the future, and you and I do not! If you and your spouse have this mindset, that you will wait to have kids until everything is perfect, take it from a couple old guys…you’ll never start.

Why do we say that?  We will almost always fall into what some call the Rockefeller Syndrome.  It is alleged that he was asked “how much money does it take to make a man happy”…and his response was “Just one more dollar.” That means that we will never be satisfied!

A good question to ask is this: How much is enough to be secure? Only you and your spouse can answer that question, and it would be good to do just that if you need to do so! For some couples there may, or will be a good reason to delay starting a family.  That is okay and good.  Planning is wise and needed! But remember if you choose to wait until you are much older, there will be more challenges raising them, both physically and energy-wise!

 

Immeasurable Joy

By waiting, there is a strong potential that you will miss the joy of growing up with your kids when you are young. While young, you will get the joy of growing with your kids!  If there are days of financial challenge or “lack,” the positive is how you handle it very well could help your child/children grow up understanding that hardship, and as they get older, they will be better off for it. Remember in the challenging times, with living and trusting in God, HE will provide a way!

 

Treasure in Heaven

Many people talk about the “treasure in heaven” that they invest in specifically other people. Instead of making it the lives of others ONLY, what about starting it with having and raising your own children! If you point them in the early years to the Lord, and you pray fervently for them, feed them physically and spiritually, AND disciple them in the ways of the Lord!  As you do this, you ARE “laying up treasures in Heaven” and some of those treasures are your own children!

 

Have more kids to make society better!

You’re raising little disciples!!!! Think about your kids this way: if you raise them in the ways of the Lord, and they do not depart from His ways, you will be sending believers to a time that you won’t be at, for the sake of living for the Lord and sharing the Gospel. In doing this, you will be working toward making society SO much  better!

 

Is money really more important than your kids?

If you value your finances over having children, when you do have them, you may pass that same money-first mindset to your children!  Remember that things are “caught more than taught” to our kids!  And if they catch that money is more important to you than they are…know that it may take a long time to, if you can, redirect that mindset in them!

 

God commands it.

Be fruitful and multiply. “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”” (Genesis 1:28, ESV)  

In the Bible, Psalm 127:3-5 says this: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” (Psalm 127:3–5, ESV). This passage compares children to arrows in the hands of a warrior. The suggestion is that children can be a source of strength and protection for their parents. Just as a warrior relies on their arrows to defend themselves, parents can rely on their children to support them in times of need…especially in their older years. The psalmist also in this chapter suggests that children are a blessing from God. As we have already said, but it is good to say it again…Parents who have many children are considered to be fortunate, as their children will be a source of joy and comfort in their old age.

 

An opportunity to say, “Look at what God has done!”

  • A demonstration of faith in God’s provision and care.
  • Clearly, having children, and raising them in the ways of the Lord, is a statement of who God is and what He has done…not what you alone have done!
  • It is a statement that God provided all that you needed to raise your child in a good and healthy way.
  • Try not to take much of the credit…for in reality through you…it is all His handiwork to see a Godly young man or woman graduate out of your home!

Stewardship Application

For a young couple, it is unlikely in today’s society that you will be able to be financially secure before kids come along. If you are, or can be, you are the exception to the rule. Of course, it depends on your circumstances, such as: Geography, income potential, family resources, etc… But know that overall, very few people would really consider themself financially secure (especially in the age bracket where you are considering having children)

How can we practically fix our eyes on Jesus instead of money?

  • Read the Gospels (and Bible) with your spouse (and if you have them now…also your kids).
  • Talk to each other about how we ought to rely on God’s provisions for both today and tomorrow! Remember that everything we have comes from him.
  • Surround yourself and your family with others who have faith-filled stories to share. Show your spouse and any kids that you have that Jesus is 100% secure! He is the treasure that we ought to be seeking
  • Finally, practice responsible generosity! Don’t give irresponsibly. 
    • There ought to be routine times to give unto the Lord, and there ought to be times where you ought to give sacrificially!  These are the trusting times! As we have been saying for years, you cannot out give God! Giving breaks the power of money in our lives.

When you have a kid, those worries of financial security go away. Not that things are better off, but you have prayers to pray and responsibilities to handle! You will see that your eyes will become fixed on the wellbeing and spiritual welfare of your child.

 

Next Steps

 

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