Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Buzzsprout, online, or search ‘The Stewardology Podcast’ in your favorite podcast app.

 

 

How to Talk to Your Spouse About Money

Talking to your spouse about money can feel intimidating, emotional, or even impossible. For many couples, money conversations become the most frequent—and most painful—source of conflict. But it does not have to stay that way. When you understand why these conversations are difficult and how to approach them with unity and purpose, financial discussions can actually become moments of connection, vision, and spiritual growth.

This guide will walk you through why money is so hard to talk about, how to create a healthier environment for financial conversations, and the practical steps you can take to build unity and clarity in your marriage.

Why Is Talking About Money So Hard?

Money touches every part of life. It is emotional, practical, and deeply connected to our upbringing and expectations. Here are some of the biggest reasons couples struggle to communicate about finances.

  • We Are Not Aligned on the Purpose of Our Lives: If you and your spouse are not aiming toward the same long term vision, your financial decisions will naturally collide. Without a shared direction, it becomes difficult to set the right priorities, agree on the big picture, and make decisions with unity
  • We Hold a “My Money, Your Money” Mindset: When spouses separate finances, split bills, or operate independently, it undermines the oneness God designed for marriage. You are not roommates. You are one flesh. Your money must reflect that unity.
  • We Believe Small Purchases Don’t Matter: Little decisions add up. And when spouses do not communicate about what seems “small,” big conflicts often follow.
  • We Grew Up Differently: Different upbringings mean different assumptions. Different assumptions mean different expectations. Different expectations mean conflict if you never talk about them.
  • We Have Different Money Personalities: Some people are natural savers. Others are spenders, planners, or givers. If you do not understand each other’s tendencies, you will misunderstand each other’s decisions.
  • We Fear Conflict: Many couples avoid the topic simply to “keep the peace.” But silence is not peace. Silence is avoidance.
  • We Only Talk About Money When There Is a Problem: If every conversation about money is negative, the topic itself becomes a trigger. No celebration, only confrontation. No gratitude, only frustration.
  • We Struggle with Power Dynamics: Arguments about “who makes more,” “who spends more,” or “who controls what” can quickly become battles for control rather than opportunities for unity.

Start Here: Have a Conversation About Your Financial Destination

One of the most important steps to healthy money conversations is reconnecting around your shared purpose. If past money conversations have been tense, start fresh with a simple idea:

Plan a “Money Date.”

Choose a local coffee shop or ice cream shop. Bring a laptop or tablet. Sit in the corner. And begin talking through the topics below.

Why a public place? Because you are far less likely to argue in public.

You may need a few of these money dates at first, but over time you will learn to discuss finances at home without tension and without fear.

Define Your Family Mission

What is your family here to do? What is God calling your marriage to accomplish? Your purpose determines your financial priorities.

Think not only about this year but your next five to ten years. The point is not to have every answer but to pick a direction of travel and start walking together.

Example
When Tim and his wife were in college, both felt confident that God was calling them into missions work. That direction shaped their early decisions. But God later rerouted their path into something entirely different. They had to be flexible and follow where God led next. Purpose gives direction, but God reserves the right to redirect.

Work Backwards from Your Destination

Once you know the general direction God is calling you toward, start thinking practically.

What needs to be accomplished to get there? What would you need to achieve in five years? Three years? One year?

Examples

  • Reduce and eliminate debt
  • Save for a car
  • Increase Roth IRA contributions
  • Grow in generosity

When you know your destination, your decisions become clearer.

Tips to Make Your Plan Work

  • Track Your Progress. Use a budget and talk about it regularly. Even a five minute check in once a week builds tremendous unity.
  • Celebrate Every Win. Do not just focus on setbacks. Acknowledge progress, even small progress, out loud.
  • Use an Allowance. Each spouse needs a little personal freedom within the budget. Autonomy prevents resentment and increases compliance.
  • Have Grace for Each Other. Financial growth requires patience, humility, and forgiveness.
  • Keep the Goal in Front of You. Regularly remind each other of the purpose you agreed on.
  • Expect Course Corrections. When life throws a curveball, it is okay to shift your goals. Just make sure you do it together. Unity is essential.
  • Pray Over Your Finances Together. Money is one of the clearest places where stewardship and spiritual life intersect. Ask God to guide your decisions and your attitudes. Invite Him into your financial planning.

Bible Verses to Consider Together

James 4:1–3
What causes fights and quarrels among you Do not they come from your desires that battle within you

Proverbs 3:9–10
Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops then your barns will be filled to overflowing.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously.

James 1:19
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

Closing and Application

Here is the bottom line: You will talk about money with your spouse. The question is whether you will talk about it in conflict or in unity.

Schedule a money date this week. Plan and dream together. Pray together. Because the numbers on your bank app are not the goal. The life God is calling your marriage to is.

 

Next Steps

 

Material presented is property of The Stewardology Podcast, a ministry of Life Financial Group and Life Institute. You may not copy, reproduce, modify, create derivative works, or exploit any content without the expressed written permission of The Stewardology Podcast. For more information, contact us at Contact@StewardologyPodcast.com or (800) 688-5800.

The topics discussed in this podcast are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific investment advice or recommendations.  Investing and investment strategies involve risk including the potential loss of principal. Past performance is not a guarantee of future results.

Securities and advisory services offered through GWM, Inc Member FINRA/SIPC